Union is the road less traveled and it’s a lonely road
It’s interesting that in order to align to union, you actually have to break free from the herd and walk your own path. Let’s be honest the majority of the Twin Flame collective at the moment is like a bunch of chickens squawking while running around in blind panic with their heads cut off. They have no idea what they are doing and they just run in circles making a lot of noise. It’s pure panic out there and hardly anything calms them down except, continuous quick fixes that numb the anxiety short term but never make it go away completely. Think of the free YouTube reads, astrology forecasts and getting psychic or tarot reads – they only give temporary release and then you are backing to panic mode.
This passes over time as you realize that the other person, the twin isn’t going anywhere and seems to somehow come back often only to move away again. It s*cks but, the anxiety becomes less and less, each time the twin gravitates back to you. However the fixation on the other stays the same and this is the main reason twins actually don’t come into union because they are not a vibrational match to it.
The (sometimes even subtle) clinging to the desired outcome aka romance with the twin, is the very thing that repels it.
You have to be strong to as I said break away from the pack that is ruled by the fear of messing up union. Because union with the twin is such a deep rooted desire, it also comes with a lot of fear of not getting what you want.
If you want to understand why meeting your Twin Flame is meant to be so much more, than just another ‘boy meets girl’ love story – Please download the free Gangsta Goddesses Manifesto here.
I know when I was willing to let go of the Twin Flame label that it scared people close to me, they thought I was maybe giving up on the whole Twin Flame concept or allowing others to influence me.
Even my most recent article on opening up to romantic love again, post the Twin Flame encounter was interpreted by some as giving up on my Twin Flame out of disappointment and wanting to be with (or settling for) a soul mate. This is because they themselves still think from the old paradigm of either/or instead of the new paradigm of and/and, so if you say you have let go of the twin – it must mean you want to be with a soul mate instead.
When you beak free from the pack it triggers ALL their fear and people will try to grasp onto you, to urge you to come back. Not because they don’t want you to succeed, but because their fear keeps them trapped in the very dynamic that keeps them out of union.
You venturing beyond that same fear that is still holding them back, makes them anxious because it triggers all their own fears of not getting the romantic outcome they want.
Yet in order to get into the union zone or vortex, you have to move past this fear of loss completely and this will leave you no other option but to break free from the pack and walk your own path.
You have to disconnect yourself fully from the collective panic and fear of not getting to be with the twin (in this lifetime) in all it’s hues and colors. As this is where the Twin Flame collective resonates at, you have to leave them behind in order to get to a place where union is a given.
You simply cannot be part of that energy field of twin hysterics (let’s call it as it is) and be aligned to union, the two are mutually exclusive.
Stepping out of your comfort zone
The paradox of course is that the Twin Flame community becomes like a second family to you in a time where no one in your day to day life seems to understand what you are going through. You have found much solace in finding people and information that talk about the same experience you are going through. It has not only helped you better understand the Twin Flame phenomenon, it has restored your sense of sanity – because for a minute there, you actually feared that you had totally lost it.
It’s NOT that the collective is bad or that it is to blame, it’s just where the majority of Twin Flames find themselves: lost, in pain and trying to make sense of it all.
It also does not help to distance yourself from the collective prematurely, because as long as you are still internally resonating at the same frantic frequency – It’s like switching arsenic for cyanide.
The collective isn’t the problem or the solution, the power lies within you.
You need to first address all the internal often deeply buried subconscious fears in yourself, which is why I have opened up my personal healing team for you – you can find them under recommended healers.
Once you have overcome your internal frantic frequency, you will automatically break free from the pack because you are no longer a vibrational match to them. This will freak out the people close to you (in my case even followers) and they will try to pull you back, because they honestly believe you are risking union by moving beyond your fears.
And you can’t blame them because this is what fear does in it’s very character – it imprisons you, it limits you and it keeps you from having what you want.
But like anything in life it is really a question of feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
Transcending the crab mentality
I am guessing this is an old paradigm trade in women that we need to overcome in all areas in our life, the crab mentality. I know this term from my days in the feminist scene (where actually in any case in the Netherlands most women are embodying their Divine masculine a bit too much!)
The thing that often hinders women professionally from rising to the top and breaking the glass ceiling is the crab bucket effect. The reason it is called the crab bucket effect is because when you put crabs in any open container you do not need to cover it to keep them from crawling out because the group will make sure they pull back ANYONE that tries to break free.
The metaphor refers to a bucket of live crabs, some of which could easily escape, but other crabs pull them back down to prevent any from getting out, ensuring the group’s collective demise.
Although this is a subconscious process, which means the other does not realize they are doing it and there isn’t a malicious intent, it remains sabotaging nonetheless.
This EXACT dynamic also shows up in the Twin Flame collective, a client who recently joined the Gangsta Goddesses Tribe was threatened by a friend that she would want nothing to do with her if she bought the tribe membership and the Align to Your Divine Plan Twin Flame Mastery Program. She was also told, that the teachings would only lead her further away from the union she seeks.
I am sure her friend believes she is being a good friend and trying to protect her, as the crabs must believe that staying together in the bucket is more safe than venturing outside. But of course we know where this gets them in the end, cooked and served on a plate instead of roaming free in the sea.
As long as the Twin Flame collective is ruled by the fear of not having the romantic outcome they crave, they cannot enter into the union zone aka the vortex – where it manifests as their physical reality experience. When one does try to venture beyond this fear, individuals in the group will try to pull them back because they truly believe that it is safer to stay where they are, than to risk not having union at all.
Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?
What stops most people from getting to enter into this union vortex is their clutching to the romantic outcome with no one else but the twin or going off on detours with others because they feel hurt by their twin. Which is of course both very much Push/Pull behavior – it’s still trying to force and control things and you simply cannot force your way into Twin Flame union.
So the questions is ‘Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?’
Granted to most Twin Flames, union without the twin is not seen as union. Yet that is not entirely true, in order to align to that outcome of union with the twin you first need to be able to let it go completely.
You need to be willing to have union come whichever way it wants to come, because you simply cannot dictate what the outer reflection of your inner state looks like. And unless union is a reflection of that inner state, it’s not really union anyway. It may be a physically intimate relationship, but still based on you trying to get your needs met outside of you.
That is basically what insisting that it HAS to be the Twin Flame comes down to as well, still trying to get your needs met outside of you. Do you want to experience union or do you want to be with THIS person, these two are not automatically the same thing. They can be, but they don’t have to be.
Who do you think clings to the romantic outcome with the twin, is that your soul or your ego?
Your soul knows who it chose as the next romantic partner – it’s a soul agreement already made. Your soul is not frantic or worried about the outcome. Only the ego worries about if it’s going to be this person that you insist on or someone else, which creates inner conflict and sends out ripples of fear of not getting what you want.
Many Divine feminines can even fear that they can’t trust their soul to have already picked the perfect partner for them, because they WANT this person and nobody else.
Yes, I am going to go there.
I know you are 100% sure this is your Twin Flame, you feel it in every bone and into the depth of your soul. But do you know how many people in the end were dead wrong and moved on feeling they then met their ‘real’ twin (it’s where the whole false twin concept stems from).
The truth is that when you surrender to your soul, it doesn’t matter if you were right or wrong all along. The only entity that cares about being right, is the ego.
Your soul knows better than you, how to get you in union and with who. It’s by getting out of the way and letting the soul bring it in, that will get you what you REALLY want. Anything we force from the ego, can never satisfy us in the way that the soul does when we allow it to put everything in place as it is meant for us.
The only thing we have to do is to choose happiness over being right about this person, because in the end that’s all we want right? We want to be happy and the soul knows how to create this lasting happiness.
If this triggers you to think ‘But Sabriyé, I will never ever be happy without my twin!’ then it means that you are still looking to find the happiness you seek outside of you instead of within. You simply cannot find happiness in someone else, because if you do and they leave for whatever reason – your happiness leaves with them.
True union is when you find happiness within and this inner happiness is reflected back to you in all areas of your life, including your romantic love relationship. That’s the kind of happiness that will be everlasting, because you are the source of your own happiness and YOU can’t ever leave you – even if you try.
Becoming a don’t care sea
I love the teachings of Florence Scovel Shinn and one of my favorite quotes is:
When you can be happy with or without your heart’s desire, it will suddenly appear, for your ship will come in over a “don’t care” sea.
Florence Scovel Shinn
As long as you are frantic about if you will have your heart’s desire or not, you create an energetic stormy sea in your vibrational field which pushes the very thing you want far far away from you.
You need to energetically become a calm (don’t care) sea in order to enter the union vortex and align to union as your physical reality experience.
There are at least three teachers I have seen recently that will tell you that you can magically align to this vibrational frequency without doing any healing, any clearing of past lives, without anything other than working on your vibrational frequency – but be aware of quick fixes, they hardly EVER work.
Yes, in the end it is all a matter of energy but you HAVE to do your inner work to get to this point. Because and Florence Scovel Shinn who taught metaphysics teaches this as well, it’s your subconscious fears and false beliefs that keep you out of manifestation. You can’t simply bypass them and pretend they are not there, because they are the very thing that weigh down your vibrational field and muddy up your vibrational frequency.
This is where the frantic energy comes from and you need to address these subconscious fears and false beliefs in order to release the panic that you won’t or can’t have what you desire most.
As long as these fears and false beliefs are there they will keep creating an energetic stormy sea around you, which does not allow your ships to come in. Ships being the metaphor for the manifestation of your heart’s desire.
So in order to become this ‘don’t care sea’ on which your ships can easily come in, you need to address these internal issues that are like homing beacons sending out signals of distress even when you are not consciously aware of it happening.
Knowing union is yours – when union is a given
Doing this inner work will bring you into the union vortex, in my Twin Flame program which is part of the Gangsta Goddesses Tribe membership I give you a step by step guide to coming into inner union.
But what about outer union you may ask? I want to be with my Twin Flame – F*ck being with myself… I have been with myself long enough you may think. I want to be with someone else.
The whole cosmic joke about this Twin Flame journey and life here in this realm, is that whatever you attain INSIDE yourself, will be reflected outside yourself as attained as well.
Consecutively everything that is missing inside of you, will also show up lacking outside of you. Hence the solution to ALL your outer issues lies within.
When you reach inner union, outer union naturally follows.
The mistake most Twin Flames make is chasing outer union and their Divine counterpart in order to get what they want.
When the only path to outer union, is by creating inner union first.
This weekend as I was driving to the coast to have some beach time, my thoughts ran free and I remembered the ‘A course in miracles’ quote:
Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.
A course in miracles
I realized this is where I am at in my journey, absolutely certain of the outcome and without anxiety. A place where you know, union is a given because you know without a doubt union is yours.
Do not confuse this with the idea that you know you will end up with your twin, because that is still holding onto a fixed outcome.
When you are truly in the union vortex, you know union is yours and you are fully non-resistant to how, when and with who this outer reflection of your inner state shows up.
Let’s quickly grab back to the ‘don’t care’ sea analogy a calm sea comes from non-resistance a fully immersing and flowing with the flow of energy aka surrender. When you hold on to the outcome that it HAS to be with the twin, you are in resistance to the flow because you want to direct it, force it and make it flow the way you want it to flow and this resistance creates your stormy sea.
For those under us that are more slow to grasp new concepts, this DOES NOT actually mean that you won’t be with your twin (if you just caught yourself wondering this, this is your own subconscious fear which is keeping you from having what you want).
It means that you get out of your own freaking way and let your soul bring in what is meant for you.
When you reach this level of surrender, it paradoxically aligns you AF to the very thing you want.
The only real b*tch about it all is that you can’t fake it, you really HAVE to let your twin go and be fully happy without them in your life. But when you reach this state authentically, you get into the zone – the union vortex, where you know without a doubt – union is a given.
This also means that all previous perceived obstacles melt away – because they only ever served to get you where you are now in this moment:
Aligned as f*ck and it is only a matter of time before the physical proof of that alignment shows up in your experienced day to day reality.
So you live your life like there is no tomorrow, having a blast, doing what you love – knowing that ALL is taken care of and will show up when it does.
The ‘waiting’ that A course in miracles talks about, is not waiting on the outcome YOU want. That kind of waiting is just more of insisting to be right instead of happy. What they mean is that if you are certain of the outcome that you can just do your thing, knowing that what you want will be there soon.
When you know this with certainty there is no more panic, no more fear of not getting what you want, no misery and no more desperation because the ONE thing you wanted more than anything slipped right through your fingers.
There is no more seeking outside of you or clinging to THE ONE.
You have found THE ONE within and when you have found him/her within, guess where they will show up as well? Yep, they will show up in your outer reality and they may not be the one who you have insisted it would have to be. It may not be THE ONE you had set your sights on, all Twin Flame dogma aside. If this person is meant to be with you, nothing can get between that ladies – so let go of that tight strangling grip, the boy can hardly breathe!
But think about this for a minute – What do you care, how the reflection of your inner Oneness shows up outside of you? You don’t give a sh*t, unless you are still secretly trying to find THE ONE outside of you.
As I write this final blog in my empty attic office in Amsterdam, empty because I’m all packed and ready to travel the world. I leave the place where it all started, where I met my twin online 4 years ago through our businesses. me here in Amsterdam the Netherlands and him in Noida, India. The office where I started Gangsta Goddesses after I went to India and met him in real life. It took me 4 years to get myself from where this article started the frantic panic to where I am today, in the union vortex knowing that my union is a given and I got here by facing all my subconscious fears and false beliefs. I got here by doing the freaking inner work, hardcore.
I pray that sharing my experience helps you shift your reality much quicker, I had to figure it all out on my own because back in 2014 the only thing out there in Twin Flame land were endless repetitions of the Twin Flame stages and abandoned blogs by Divine feminines who most often had bitterly given up on their own journeys.
I stuck it out till the end, because that’s how I show up in life. I have often been compared to a pitbull, once I sink my teeth in something I don’t let go. I finish things and I will tell you, I am so glad I saw this through to the end.
Holy f*ck – when you get over yourself and your obsession with the twin a whole new reality opens up to you. This is what it was all leading up to, you coming home to you.
Articles such as these take hours and hours to write. I write them to help the Twin Flame collective better understand the journey they are on. If you liked this article or if it helps you shift your perception, please know that donations are very thankfully received.
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Wishing you magic and miracles on this amazing adventure with your beloved.
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Lots of love,