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It’s okay to check in on your twin
Look, checking on your twin daily or obsessively is not the road that leads to union. It’s the road that leads to frustration, because you are over focusing on what you want and don’t have and by the law of attraction that is not going to align you to what you want. It will just give you more of what you DON’T want.
On the flip side of this, let’s just be honest. Twin Flame running/chasing or separation is brutal, especially when first dealing with it. Over time you just learn that your twin always comes back and that their feelings for you never really decrease despite how much they try to convince you and themselves of the opposite. Twin Flame love is just that overwhelming that it can make one twin bolt and the other twin left wondering how someone can run out on something that feels THIS good.
It would be odd if you didn’t find it difficult to let go of the person you probably for the first time in your life, felt is ‘the ONE’. So, of course you do still want to be close to them and in the day and age of social media that has become a lot more easy. Checking their profiles can give you a sense of feeling close to them. It can help you to energetically connect to them, through looking at their pictures. It can be very soothing and comforting to just connect to their energy again and it’s okay to allow yourself to let go little by little. The experience or better yet, illusion of losing your twin is much like the mourning of any other tragic ending. It takes time.
Be gentle with yourself
In the end you will have to let checking in on them go, but you can take baby steps in getting yourself there.
Many newcomers to the Law of Attraction fear that just thinking of something undesirable will manifest it, it won’t. In the same way many Twin Flame stayers feel bad about what they consider to be ‘stalking’ their twin. I wanted to make you this video because of the interesting twist, my twin recently gave to my never giving up on him. It just goes to show you that your Twin Flame does not interpret your behavior as negatively as you may be doing yourself.
Especially towards the end before I fully surrendered, I would text my twin that it did leave me feeling like a stalker. We had actually reconnected just before and had a small but nice conversation, then he shut down almost immediately even though he had been so happy to hear my voice again. Behavior like that is confusing, this whole yes/no, stop/go stuff makes you wonder which one it is. I decided that it meant he still loved me as well and I actually recommitted myself to him and the journey. Fast forward nine months and my twin recently said to me ‘You are a stalker of success and that’s a good thing to be.’ Which just goes to show you that your twin can have a whole different take on the situation, even when it looks like he/she could care less and I tell ya nine months ago it sure looked that way to most people.
The only reason I knew for sure that he still loved me was because I was on his case daily for six consecutive weeks to tell me to either F off or make me his, he then read all these messages which were sometimes more than one or two a day and didn’t respond or block me. I gathered more and more courage with every silent confirmation he gave and just got bolder and bolder. I literally said to him to block me on the spot if he didn’t want me in his life. I begged him to just be clear what he had in his heart for me, even if it was not what I wanted to hear. I begged him for closure. He didn’t budge.
I’m sharing this with you today so that you can fully feel how desperate I was and that I really understand how desperate you are feeling now.
When is it stalking?
Google the meaning of stalking and this comes up:
‘a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention.’
So if you are doing anything that hurts your twin or you keep messaging when they have asked you not to, you are engaging in negative behavior and probably getting into stalker like energy.
If you lash out because you see a picture of your twin with a new love interest and that kind of stuff, you are going overboard and that is not what this Twin Flame journey is about. It’s never okay to dump your own pain on someone else and it’s not classy either.
Another reason many stayer twins do lurk on their other half’s social media pages is out of fear of loss, which just boils down to control issues. Been there, done that. Even responding nicely to something you see changing in their life is often nothing else but just trying to regain contact, keep control – because you are scared that if you don’t – everything will just slip away between your fingers.
If you are really honest, the reason you are checking is because you are afraid to lose your twin deep deep down and that’s okay. It’s actually a good thing to become aware of this, because now you know what you need to work on in yourself. Your fear of loss. Because as long as you have this fear consciously or subconsciously, this will keep showing up in your life.
That is what I realized at some point. I realized that I was not messaging my twin out of love, I was messaging him every couple of days or every other week because I was afraid that if I would let go, he would never come back to me. I was afraid to lose him. So I let go to face the truth no matter what, because if that was the case – if he wouldn’t come back, there was no use in holding on. I would be living an illusion and not the truth that I am committed to live everyday of my life. So instead of reaching out to him to squelch my fear, I started working on my own fear of loss.
What’s the real cause of all this obsessing?
This also brings us to the real cause of all this obsessing. I know you think your twin has left you for good whether you are still running and chasing or in full blown separation. Chances are that your beloved who once professed their undying love for you, is now saying things you do NOT want to hear at all. Or he or she has just gone quiet on you and is not responding, period.
You have to realize that this not meant personally. This is not how they truly feel about you – this is part of the Twin Flame process in which everything that is said and done is meant to help you heal from deep and often ancient (past life) wounding. And I want to emphasize that Twin Flames are never abusive with one another, there is never a reason to allow yourself to be abused.
This wounding in Twin Flames is triggered through their intense love for each other, not through purposefully hurting each other. You will see that most twin distance comes following deep twin closeness, because the deep love they experience when connecting purges out all the energies from this lifetime and previous lifetimes that are not in alignment with the high vibration of Twin Flame love (unconditional love). That’s why twin sex and other forms of deep bonding between twins often triggers deeply and causes energetic disharmony between the couple.
For more information on the real causes behind all your Twin Flame drama read this article here. This is the real reason your twin maybe running or keeping you far away from them.
These wounds are also the real cause behind your obsessing, obsessing and over focusing on your twin is ALWAYS a matter of your own wounds pulling you closer so that you can become aware of them and heal them. Dealing with your own inner wounds not only gets you out of that frantic energy and back in balance again, it is actually the only thing that does bring your twin back into your life.
If you would like some help in dealing with your own wounding, check out my services under the menu – Work with me.
Wishing you magic and miracles on this amazing adventure with your beloved.
Lots of love,