When you are secretly having a déjà vu
After last weeks article on how the current partner in your Twin Flame’s life is actually your ally and not your enemy, I uncovered a major past life between my twin’s wife and myself.
So let me start off with sharing that past life and everything transpiring to me uncovering it.
It’s always fascinating how these things present themselves so let me give you three story lines that in the end weave into each other perfectly – beyond anything we could ever have conjured up ourselves.
You can just not outdo the Universe when it comes to perfection.
Story line number 1 – The clearing
Each year I invest in a year reading for my business to see what timelines I am on and to see what opportunities are ahead of me, etc.
Naturally as I am the owner of that business also personal stuff comes up, but my focus is always on growing my mission.
In a follow up session to that year reading, the psychic saw that someone that I used to associate with in my business was still using a cord to me to fuel her own success.
The psychic told me to cut cords with her and a couple of other people, but I know myself well enough to know I will not do that as thoroughly as it needs to be done. It just easily gets lost in a busy week. I was right because anything I would have done, would have been nothing compared to the clearing, she gave me. I do limit the money I invest in clearings, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have them done. I just don’t believe that all the healing work can be done by someone else magicking away our wounds for us.
I am a healer and coach that walks my talk – I work with loads of people using all kinds of different healing modalities to progress myself on my own journey and to be a better coach and healer to the people that work with me. I invest heavily in myself, because it helps me be the best I can be in all ways.
The deeper I face my own shadow side, the deeper I can help my clients face their shadows and bring them into the light. Clients sometimes tell me they were turned away elsewhere because their wounding was too complex for the healer to deal with. But the truth is you won’t be scared off by anyone’s dark side once you have faced your own darkness. It is by facing our darkness that we increase our light.
Recently I have seen these blogs pop up of people claiming to be in union (they mean a physical relationship) but getting there without having to do any healing work and that it’s all just illusion that you need to heal anything, you can be in union NOW if only you would just decide to be. That is bullsh*t.
Even following the Law of Attraction these people think they are applying, there are always internal blocks to not having your deepest heart’s desire manifest in the physical – no matter what that heart’s desire is. Because if there weren’t any internal blocks you would already have what you want.
Part of manifesting that heart’s desire is removing those inner blocks, because they are the ONLY reason you don’t already have what you want. Facing your own subconscious false beliefs and fears telling you, you can’t have what you want is the KEY to manifesting it in your physical reality and that is what you do when you heal past lives or subconscious wounds. You remove the internal obstacles to the physical reality you want to create – that’s why Twin Flame teachers are always saying union is an inside job.
Anyway back to our story lines, I booked a session for a date that was free in my busy schedule and that turned out to be the day after I published last weeks article (March 21st).
Story line number 2 – Falling head over heels in love for the first time post Twin Flame
The night of the published article (March 20th) I get a contact request on messenger from a guy that managed to break through to me, which no guy has been able to do since I met my twin.
I have zero tolerance when it comes to my messenger inbox as of course next to the guys wanting to talk to me, there are also loads of people that think I have time to coach them for free on a Facebook chat. Kind of like going to the baker and expecting to get free bread, right?! I don’t know about your local baker, but mine doesn’t ever give me loafs of bread for free. Maybe theirs does…?
So this guy ….. perfect English, super sense of humor and intelligent. I am an absolute sucker for a smart man with a great sense of humor. Before I knew it we had chatted 3,5 hours and I REALLY LIKED this guy a lot. Which was super great news, because anyone on the Twin Flame journey knows that it’s very common to be, as my girls in the Gangsta Goddesses Tribe lovingly call it ‘C*ckblocked’, meaning you are either not attracted to anyone besides the twin or any attempts to be with someone else get sabotaged by the Universe (actually your own soul as you and the Universe are one).
I had made such a massive shift in my connection and felt like I had come completely full circle in regards to the man I have recognized as my twin and the journey I have been on due to meeting him.
Was I really free to move on at last?!
There was only one big problem, the guy on the other end of the texts seemed to also be on the other end of the world. In fact he turned out to be in India which was not evident went we started out and I was like again?! (this I have definitely seen before) As things progressed and I felt more and more attracted to him I was like ‘Wow – I can feel all this again! Woooohoooo!’
That was until he called me on a video chat which then got cut off because someone knocked at his door (I think we call this Divine intervention…) and when I saw him I just realized that it wasn’t him that I liked. It was the fact that when I didn’t see his face or hear his voice it was almost like I was talking to my twin…. Once you see the truth of a situation, you can’t unsee it and I became fully aware of the fact that I had only been projecting my feelings for someone else onto him and that he was not that person.
So my intense love affair was over and fully evaporated into thin air in less than 24 hours.
Story line number 3 – The past life of the identical twin sisters
In the midst of story line 2 about 16 hours (now March 21st) into the big love affair and being lost in illusion, I get the clearing which was meant to cut the cords with this business acquaintance who was energetically steeling from me.
I personally don’t get upset about these things, I just do what needs to be done and move on. I keep my eye on the ball and stay focused on where I want to be. I’m on a mission, full steam ahead. That was also my attitude going into this clearing, let’s do this so that I can step into my mission even deeper.
Let’s free me up energetically.
So we go into this clearing session expecting it to be about the business acquaintance and instead my twin and his wife show up and the psychic is told they need to go first. We go into this large white room in the higher heart chakra were a past life version of me starts sharing the story of a past life between me and my Twin Flame’s wife.
It was a very recent past life in India, she and I were identical twins. She felt our mother loved me more as I had, had a more difficult birth and needed more parental care growing up as a child (in a lifetime before this I was the crippled child of my twin which shows that we sometimes need multiple lifetimes to work through certain themes). As we grew up looking completely identical, it was hard to keep us apart and tell who is who. My twin had to chose one of us as his wife and he and I felt most drawn to each other, we had the love connection.
On the day that he had to claim his bride, my twin sister locked me up in a room and went to the festivities pretending to be me. My twin couldn’t see through her and even though he later realized he had chosen the wrong girl, he had to go through with it because he couldn’t say she had misled him to believe she was me. So he married her, but was always confronted with me and our feelings for each other that we were unable to act on because he was now my sisters husband.
How it all perfectly ties in together
One of the main themes in my Twin Flame connection is that my twin has always despite his deep feelings for me, done his best to stay away from me – like I was off limits.
This partially had to do with a past life in which he blamed himself for my death, that he felt wouldn’t have happened if he would have stayed away from me like he should have as he was already married in that lifetime. But this new uncovered past life only reinforced the ‘I can’t allow myself to be close to her. I can’t allow myself to love her…’ because now I was off limits as his wife’s identical sister – even when she had tricked him into marrying her.
It explained my twin’s behavior where before I couldn’t understand why he said he loved me and wanted to be with me, only to run away again..
What was interesting as well that in this lifetime in India, when my twin and I were discussing a future together, he confided in me that if it were up to him alone we would already be together and have everything we always talked about including a baby. But he had his family to think of and he didn’t know if he could trust his feelings for me, because he had been wrong in the past! I already wondered how wrong a 26 year old could have been, to not dare trust his feelings but this past life made that crystal clear. He subconsciously remembered he had made the wrong decision in the past and that everybody suffered because of it – something he was desperately trying to avoid this time around.
It makes perfect sense now why his wife was acting like the ‘Twin Flame’
It now also perfectly made sense why I had dreamed that my twin told me that his marriage was a proxy marriage and that his wife was in fact my stand-in. Or what about my twin’s wife blatantly posing again as the twin (the Twin Flame) with an 11-11 marriage date which had been predicted as our marriage date and hashtags like #TogetherForever? It was a re-run of the exact scenario of the past life in which she and I were identical twin sisters and she posed as me to trick the man I loved and who loved me, to marry her.
A very traumatic life for all of us because he and I could not be together, but even though she got him to marry her she wasn’t able to make him love her like he loved me. It’s hilarious because back in the hotel room in India my twin basically begged me to not force or manipulate him into marrying me. If I had wanted to I could have used my seduction skills to get pregnant and leave him no choice but to choose us. Instead I told him you can force a marriage, but the only thing I want from you is the only thing that can’t ever be forced and that is your love for me. Afterwards friends said you should have made sure that you got pregnant and I said the same to them, forcing someone to marry you is easy but you can’t force someone to love you and that is all I want from him – his true love.
The Universe always give us extra signs of confirmation. You can’t make this sh*t up!
So what about the new guy from India – how does he fit in? That made perfect sense too, because it was the exact same dynamic he felt like my twin and he made me feel like I feel with my twin but he wasn’t my Twin Flame (not for one second did I ever think he was maybe my true twin) what I mean is – he felt the same, but he wasn’t the same. At some point my twin was online as this guy was online and I just wondered if my twin was using a fake account to talk to me, it felt that much alike.
The experience with this Indian guy was the reversed version of what my twin had dealt with in that past life where my twin sister and I looked EXACTLY the same, but in character we were very different. I.e. we didn’t feel the same.
I can be a bit skeptical at times and my soul knows this, it was like this situation with the feel-a-like ‘twin’ was given as extra confirmation that I could really trust the psychics information on the past life with my twin’s wife. I prefer accessing past life info myself instead of having people read them for me, this psychic is very accurate but part of the past life work I do for myself and with my clients is releasing the emotions that were still stuck in the vibrational field due to the past life. When someone reads a past life for you, it doesn’t allow you to connect to the vibrational residue that still needs to be cleared.
Even the Universe loves a good clean-up to make sure everything falls into place…
In this case however this was just mop up right? Thanks to my twin’s wife triggering me big time with a word and the codependent dynamic she was mirroring me, I was able to clear a deep core wound that was even older than our lifetime as identical twin sisters. I felt immense gratitude to her for that, this new life now as identical twins to me was just a confirmation that my and her soul contract were done or in any case that we were ready to cut the love triangle we had still bleeding through from the previous lifetime – it felt like a mop up of me healing the core wounding that she was probably already helping me heal in that lifetime as my identical twin sis.
Meeting this new guy also answered a very important question I had been asking myself.
I had been wondering if I still felt the same way about the man I had believed to be my Twin Flame. I have decided for myself to drop the label because it doesn’t change what is the truth and so in order for the truth to prevail I decided to be open to the Universe to prove me wrong, which it hasn’t. This was just an important part of my own process of surrendering my connection to the Divine.
When the Universe provides you with a 24 hour Twin Flame simulation, just to show you the truth
What this guy from India actually provided me, was a close to 24 hour Twin Flame simulator (like a flight simulator, except this simulated the twin experience) and I got to feel again what it would be like if my twin and I would be in contact at this moment and how I would feel with and towards him and that was a full body, heart and soul YES! YES! YES!
Oh my God, how I wanted this guy.
The things I thought I loved about this new guy, were the things I love in my twin. The way I felt when I was with him, was the way I felt when I am with my twin and in the end I just had to face the fact that I was projecting all my feelings for my twin on this guy and not seeing the real him – which of course would never work.
So instead I thanked him for letting me re-experience what my true feelings are for my Twin Flame and the truth is I am still crazy about him. I don’t connect to those feelings because we aren’t in contact in such a way nor do I want to be. I did not come into this life to be my Twin Flame’s mistress (no offense to those who are) when he is married to someone else. I don’t want an affair and neither does he, but what this showed me was that if he were here all those feelings I had for him aren’t dead – they are just slumbering as it’s not time for them to be lived out at this moment.
Twin Flames always pick up their connection at the intimacy level where it was left off at
Since one month into our connection my twin and I knew without a doubt we wanted to spend our lives together, which made no sense at the time. He was 24 years old back then, when he told me it was the happiest day of his life to hear me say I wanted to spend my life with him. Every Twin Flame connection picks up at the intimacy level that it was left at and for us it has always been spending our lives together. Even the last time we spoke on the phone he told me ‘I don’t know if I will ever leave her, but I promise you if I do I will be on a plane the next day to come to you.‘
Knowing everything I know now, I understand why we had to go through this each on our own because he and I totally s*ck at being friends. I had to laugh when a girlfriend told me last night she realized her twin stays away because he wants to f*ck her too much if he lets her anywhere near him. I know it’s a bit a crude way of putting it, but it’s the truth between Twin Flames – the magnetic attraction is so big, we would get ourselves into all kind of trouble if we would be close at the moment. Despite our pure intentions.
I would not have been able to get where I am today, if my twin had not kept his distance from me and I love him for that.
Otherwise we would have for sure ended up cheating on his wife and though that may have made me look ‘special’ from the ego’s perspective it would not have brought me home from the soul’s perspective as I have already been brought home this far.
Please read my previous article to understand the depth of healing, the other woman in my twin’s life has brought me.
There is a hierarchy in clearing past lives and subconscious blocks
You may wonder about the total déjà vu character of both the lives, but this is actually really common in past life work. Often what you are dealing with today is a bleed through from a previous lifetime – allowing you to re-enact the past life dynamic in order for it to be healed in this life.
Because that is the natural way that things get cleared by the soul, through playing them out in the physical reality.
Through the various healing modalities that are available to us in this day and age, we now have the opportunity to clear them out vibrationally instead of painfully reliving all the past life trauma’s.
This allows you to speed up timelines, but never at the expense of the overall soul growth that the soul intended to achieve. This is also why you can’t magic away all your subconscious blocks and wounds, because you have to achieve the soul growth as well that the experience was chosen to provide, This can sometimes be though, but you never get more than that you can handle and when it’s done and dusted you will be very grateful for where the experience has brought you in life.
I had to heal the vibrational codependent dynamic, discussed in the previous article in order to be ready to have our vibrational love triangle cut. That was the soul growth part, that could not have been skipped over.
I know this psychic from before my twin got married. She has also given me reads in the past before he got married, yet she had not been allowed to see this past life before because it wasn’t time yet. If already around his marriage she would have seen this past life and offered to clear it, I wouldn’t have gotten me to the core wound that I described in last weeks article.
I know the Universe has unlimited possibilities, but this clearing now cut the cords between me, him and her from that lifetime and remember cord cutting doesn’t actually cut people out of your life – it resets the connection. It neutralizes it. If their soul contract and my soul contract with her has finished, we are all now free to start a fresh in whatever way our souls have planned for us.
But we needed this whole setup of her pretending to be the Twin Flame, using the word lifeline and helping me experience what it would feel like if I lost my twin for good. I mean that is allowing me to live the illusion of that because it is not a real possibility – you can’t lose your Twin Flame.
My journey has always been about trusting the Universe and myself, which was the core wound that got triggered by his marriage. I have always said that my twin was my final exam in trusting the Universe. If I would have gotten him as my husband instantly, that would have been a reward but it would not have been really trusting the Universe to always have your back.
It would just be getting what you want. It was by not getting what I wanted DESPERATELY like I had ever wanted anything else in the world, that I learned to trust that my soul had bigger and better plans for me, than I had for myself and that the Universe was forever helping me every step of the way to help me achieve my highest good.
If their soul contracts are finished, this clearing now basically means the end of their marriage because the door was shut on that past lifetime. If they do continue together as husband and wife, it would have to be from a soul choice to learn to love each other this time around or something of that nature. It’s always difficult to speculate about these things from a 3D self perspective, because we just can’t see the full picture from where we are right here and now. We don’t know what the soul has planned for us and that is a good thing.
I am personally not invested in an outcome either way, what I do want to point out is that the order in which lives are cleared is important because now that I was able to heal the core wound their marriage could be dissolved, as it seems to have fulfilled it’s purpose (which we don’t know – because there could be other soul agreements between them).
Where as if their marriage had dissolved first (i.e. this life cleared first) I would have needed to have been brought to the healing of that core wounding in a different way. As that core wounding was based on vibrational codependency – there would have been NO way for me to clear that wound (which I used other healing modalities for by the way) with my twin by my side.
If your twin is not ready, it means you aren’t ready either
So even if this life had been cleared first and he hypothetically got the divorce – something would have still kept us apart as I was still suffering a past life wound that needed separation to trigger it.
We don’t dare trust it, but our souls know the way to union and I don’t mean ending up in a physical relationship with the twin only, when I talk about union.
When I talk about union, I mean really having learned to access the 5D unity frequency without piggy backing on your Twin Flames energy. Twins automatically enter a 5D vortex when they are together, but they need to learn to maintain that frequency on their own without the counterpart shifting them into this frequency by default.
Because if they don’t then they can’t sustain the 5D frequency together or at best they are codependent of each other’s energy to be and stay in 5D.
True union is when you can sustain the 5D frequency all on your own and that is where all the twists and turns of this journey are leading you to. Which means that we have to trust our Divine Plan that we pre-scripted with our Twin Flame and to trust that our souls have got this and know in exactly which sequence they need to bring up subconscious blocks and wounding in order for us to align deeper to this state of 5D frequency union of which a physical union with the twin is but a mere byproduct.
It’s the dimensional shift that the soul wanted to experience in this lifetime, meeting your twin soul is the instrument to get you to make this shift, which may or may not lead to a physical relationship with the twin. Except by that time you won’t care because life has gotten so deliciously good that you don’t need someone else to make you feel happy and complete.
You ARE happy and complete.
Why ‘karmics’ are actually soulmate connections to you as well
This identical twin past life between me and my twin’s wife only underscores even more that the current partner of your Twin Flame is not ‘karmic’ by default.
Yes, it was a karmic experience but the connection between me and her is not just karmic. She is part of our soul family and has committed to helping us choose union (this does not have to be a physical relationship, remember that) in this lifetime.
It is not an easy role for her to play and it will not be a pain free experience for her as well. This is the second time around that she is married to him, when he in fact loves me and would prefer to be with me. In that previous lifetime, there was no way for him to undo the mistake he made. If you understand anything of the Indian culture, then you know that back then he had to just live with the mistake he made and all the consequences that it brought. But in this lifetime, even in India times have changed and he is not as bound as he was back then. Divorce is rare in India, but it does happen these days.
It’s interesting as my second marriage to my soulmate husband was very similar to their marriage then and now. My husband was in love with someone else when he married me, so I know the confusion, the pain and the despair of being married to someone who does not show you the love that would be expected with the commitment of marriage. In fact my ex-husband refused to touch me for six years out of our seven year marriage.
That experience has given me great compassion for my twin’s wife because I know how difficult the path is that she chose. I have experienced her pain first hand and just like my ex-husband did his damn best to love me the way he felt he should – I know my twin is doing his best to love her as she deserves to be loved as his wife.
I don’t resonate with calling the other person in your twin’s life the ‘karmic’ because I believe that these other soul contracts and connections play an important role in your union process. You can have karma with everyone even your Twin Flame, karma doesn’t necessarily make a connection karmic. If you would like to read more about this you can do so in last weeks article, where I explain the various soul connections more in-depth.
What if you are the so called ‘karmic’?
Since last weeks article I have also been contacted by the so called ‘karmic’ partner of the Twin Flame, trying to deal with the fact that their partner has met their Twin Flame and the insecurities this brings for their relationship with the twin.
First of all, not everyone believing to have met their Twin Flame is right. There are umpteen different names (labels) for saying you were wrong about someone you thought to be your twin. This happens because people are eager to romanticize the Twin Flame concept and this journey is not about romance, it’s about self actualization. You don’t need to divorce from someone to self actualize, unless that person is holding you down.
Download the free Gangsta Goddesses Manifesto if you want to learn more about the true nature of the Twin Flame journey.
Secondly romance as I just said is not the objective, it’s the cherry on top. However, most of my clients do in the end want to be in a romantic relationship with the twin. The truth is however that most people that leave their existing relationship with their ‘karmic’ partner don’t go straight into a relationship with the twin. They will often need time on their own to come into alignment with the physical union they seek.
The thing is that partnerships only work based on mutual agreement, so if your partner chooses to end the relationship with you to be with the Twin Flame – the only thing you can do is the same as in any other similar situation twin or not and that is gracefully accept it. You can’t force someone to be with you, they have to want to be with you. The tighter you hold on to someone, the more they will fight to free themselves and that does not honor the time and love that you have shared together.
For all you ladies who want to get rid of a Twin Flame in your man’s life, today’s article should make clear you have unresolved business from past lives with her as well. Clean that up and who knows what will happen, fear of loss plays on both sides, the person who believes your man is her twin is afraid to lose him – but so are you. If two people are truly meant to be, nothing can tear them apart. You need to decide if you want to know the truth, if he is really yours and you don’t HAVE to be Twin Flames for someone to be your Divine selection then nothing can take him away from you.
Otherwise, he was never yours to begin with and holding on to him will not make you happy.
All you Twin Flame ladies reading this, the same applies to you of course.
Could you also have past life drama with the other person in your twin’s life bleeding through in your union?
I also encounter this showing up of the twin’s (ex)partner in the other twin’s past lives in the Twin Flame Reunion journeys I do with my clients.
And especially if the connection manifests itself negatively in this lifetime, you can bet your bottom dollar that you have had a past life with this person.
In one of my most recent sessions my client saw that her twin’s ex-wife had been her father in a past life, who was sexually abusing her. To help her deal with this incestuous lifetime, i.e. become consciously aware of it so she could heal it the woman (this ex) was cat-fishing her in this lifetime pretending to be a man that wanted to have sex with her.
B*tch be crazy right?! But seeing this past life made it perfectly understandable why this woman was being such a psycho! Because my client and twin weren’t even together anymore, he was with someone new – but the client and the ex-wife still had karma to clear. The client was in general cleaning up massive sexual wounding in our session and this was but one of the multiple lives she found that centralized around sexual abuse.
This example just goes to show you in contrast to my own example where there is no bad blood between me and my twin’s wife, that even if there is – it is not because that person is deranged. It’s because you most likely are playing out a past life scenario, that you can also CLEAR OUT by understanding why it is showing up in your current day reality.
Take this client for example without the past life info, her twin’s ex just seemed to be some sick twisted psycho pretending to be a man and sexually harassing her. Strange scenario right, but it happens – people nowadays can just be that mental. When you see the past life behind it, the woman who probably has no clue why she is doing what she is doing with all this sexual predatoring (can it be conjugated this way?) of my client, seems to also be working through that past life memory that my client was her daughter and she was her incestuous father.
In this light my client understands that the woman in this lifetime is not as deranged as she appears to be, but is in fact helping her (my client) remember their past life together so that it can be healed and forgiven.
Can you see what an amazing turnaround of perception of the EXACT same current life experience, past life healing can give us? This is why we do past life work, not because of curiosity. Not because of ego, to bang ourselves on the chest and say ‘I was such and such in my past life’. We go into the past to heal the HERE AND NOW and when we do, our current day reality shifts dramatically because of it.
If you also want to experience a session with me, you can book one here. This will most likely be my last year of remote sessions, in the future you will only be able to work with me one on one during retreats and on location abroad, as I will start travelling the world this year and my internet connection may not be as strong everywhere.
I pray that this article serves you and helps you get a better understanding of the importance of this other person in your Twin Flame’s life, not only for them but most likely for you too. I invite you to explore your connection to the current partner in your twin’s life because it can give you massive insights for your own healing and help you better understand why things had to go the way they have between you and your twin.
Seeing this past life with my twin’s wife as my identical twin sister, has shown me why my twin had to make the choices he has since we met and why he has been so afraid to trust his feelings for me. This has not only given a reset to that past life, it has given a reset to this life as well as it has made me realize there is nothing to forgive. It all went down perfectly.
The Universe (my soul) had to get me there kicking and screaming, my twin can attest to how angry I was with him just before my final breakthrough – but I am here and I thank God on my bare knees that my twin has been as strong as he is to not give in even when I begged and pleaded with him, or when I pushed and shoved, not even when I swore at him and scolded him – did he give an inch.
If he had, I don’t think I would have been able to share the wisdom that I have acquired because of it, with you today.
So a great BIG thank you to all the players, in this real life play including my Twin Flame and my past life twin sister then and now for playing their part in the biggest transformation I have ever made.
Wishing you magic and miracles on this amazing adventure with your beloved.
If this article resonates with you please share it abundantly. Thank you.
Lots of love,
P.s. if you are interested in a step by step guide to your Twin Flame journey and creating inner union, sign up for the Gangsta Goddesses Tribe and you get instant access to my online program the Align to Your Divine Plan Twin Flame Mastery Program.